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Dating dilemma
Looking for love beyond the bars

The post-collegiate world is a terrifying place.

A senior at UW-Madison enjoying my final year in the college dream world, I peer into the near-future and see nothing but horror.

It’s Tuesday morning—I’m tired and groggy from the night before, and I have to decide between breakfast and getting to work on time. I must prep for three meetings before lunch and finish a project due at five o’clock; I have rent, car payments, insurance payments, credit card bills and a health club membership renewal due before the end of the week. And to top things off, my favorite fichus just bit the big one.

Quite understandably, the things that “really matter” in life get put on hold. Dating—the key that unlocks the door to romance, love, marriage and family—exists as an ideal rather than a reality. I see my future—leaving academia, starting a career and juggling a multitude of responsibilities, tasks and finances—and it looks lonely.

As a journalist committed both to his readers and the acquisition of answers in a world of questions, I took on the assignment of delivering young professionals a fresh perspective on the realities of post-collegiate dating.

My task: don the mask of a young professional and infiltrate the various outlets available to those on the after-college quest for love. My target: young professionals on the scene and in the field. My problems: youth, immaturity and the lack of a diploma. My tools: a thirst for knowledge, Journalist’s Privilege and a willingness to craft the truth for the sake of my art.

I was locked, loaded and ready to take on the young professional dating establishment—one dating option at a time. Little did I know the cruel dating gods were aware of my plan and would attempt to disrupt my voyage to the isthmus of affection.

Out to Lunch
My first great idea was to break into the young professional dating scene by taking the leg work out of actively trying to meet an available young professional woman—namely, to have someone else do it. Enter It’s Just Lunch.

Created in 1991, the concept of It’s Just Lunch is simple: Potential members arrange to meet an It’s Just Lunch (IJL) coordinator for a one-on-one meeting. Desires, ambitions and preferences are discussed and a “dater profile” is made to be added to the pool of other eligible daters from the area. For about $1,200, daters are guaranteed 14 IJL “first dates” over a yearlong period with other members fitting within their interest parameters. IJL aligns itself with area restaurants, with whom they work to coordinate various aspects of each scheduled date.

Felicia O'Day, co-owner of the Madison and Milwaukee franchises, says the relatively young Wisconsin IJL programs have done well in their respective first years. The Milwaukee office currently has about 600 participating members and the Madison office has about 300 daters, with both offices evenly split between male and female members.

 While many other dating avenues exist, O’Day says the IJL system fits especially well with romantically inclined young professionals who are short on time.

“[Our usual client is] definitely the educated, busy professional who uses us because they want to find individuals that they are just not meeting on a day-to-day basis,” O’Day says. “They are tired of the bar scene, uncomfortable with dating their coworkers and not interested in the people they are getting set up with by their friends and family.”

Hoping she would let me join, skipping the fee and removing the hassle of actually going out and finding single young professionals on my own, I inquired about the participation of college students in IJL. Predictably, O’Day politely reminded me the fee is necessary, and that ideal IJL candidates have real jobs and aren’t currently enrolled in Phys Ed 101.

In any case, I started to see why a program like IJL could be helpful for young professionals and why I would not be able to “trick” other daters into believing I was employed, successful and in my mid-20s. I needed to find another route into the world of young professional dating.

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man with flowers

giving flowers: Long hours at work, increased responsibility and a limited social schedule often render old-fashioned dating tactics ineffective for today's busy young professionals.
photo: derek montgomery

 
information: where young professionals can find love
a young professionals guide to the new dating scene
 
man with flowers covering his face
think outside the box (of chocolates and bouquet of flowers): the world of
dating has quietly expanded beyond blind dates and bar hopping. Professional
dating services, online matchmaking and singles events are gaining favor
among young professionals looking for love.

photo: derek montgomery
 

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curb magazine 2005: balance for wisconsin's young professionals