Currently searching for an information technology position in Madison, Toth wishes he had more opportunities to discuss both his service and the Iraq war in general, which he now opposes.

“It’s hard to understand for a lot of people,” Toth says. “People say, ‘Oh that’s cool.’ Most don’t really care. A lot of people don’t want to understand.”

In an effort to find a forum to discuss the war, Toth joined Iraq Veterans Against the War in 2005. Since then, Toth says he has lost two-thirds of his friends, who are offended by his anti-war stance.

At the Combat Paper Project reception Oct. 3, Toth displayed the paper he had made from his uniform. Red ink blots and screen prints of helicopters and graffiti in Greece covered a table in a coffee shop on Madison’s east side, and Toth discussed what the pieces mean to him and his fellow veterans.

“The paper has a sentimental value to me because of my uniforms,” Toth says. “But the display of it and the use of it as a form of art may help me and others find some healing and solace in the paper. I think it also has helped me find some more of my creative talents as I create art out of unfinished paper.”

Finding a niche

Veterans groups, many of which have bureaus in Wisconsin, try to assist with normal adult concerns – bills, employment, relationships – that often overwhelm veterans. In addition to the Department of Veterans Affairs, the Iraq War Veterans Organization, Vets for Vets and Wisconsin Paralyzed Veterans of America are just a few of the organizations dedicated to helping veterans find their footing back in the states.

“We help them with job issues, personal issues from health care to educational opportunities,” Jacobson says of the Iraq War Veterans Organization. “We try to get awareness out as much as we can.”

Jacobson’s experience in the Iraq war bestows him with a unique ability to reach out and relate to transitioning veterans. As a Marine with the Gulf Company, Jacobson served one year in Iraq in 2004. During this tour, he lost his best friend and many others close to him. But when he returned home, he refused to acknowledge his grief, choosing unhealthy habits instead.

“I didn’t think about the war for the first year and a half,” Jacobson says. “I worked to exhaust myself so I wouldn’t be thinking about it.”

Experts say this avoidance occurs all too often among veterans. Military experts worry returning veterans, eager to get home to their families, do not take advantage of the resources available to them at the demobilization sites. They say this prevents veterans’ successful transitions and prolongs their struggles at home.

Eventually, Jacobson sought counseling with the Tomah Veterans Administration Medical Center, where he completed an inpatient post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) treatment program. It was then that Jacobson decided to take his life in a new direction. He moved from Eau Claire to smaller Black River Falls, Wis. He quit his job as a machinist and signed on with the fire department, where he has worked since 2007.

“It’s hard for a lot of military servicemen to come back and find a niche,” Jacobson says. “Rather than taking my issues to a bar, firefighting is the best fit for me. The tempo of being a firefighter matches the tempo of being in the military.”

As he adapted to life back home, Jacobson realized that on top of the adjustment from Iraq to Wisconsin, military men and women come home to the same concerns as everyone else. Veterans are not shielded from bills, family problems or unemployment in exchange for their service. Jacobson saw the Iraq War Veterans Organization as a useful tool to help veterans handle all these challenges.

“It’s basically helping veterans get what they need,” Jacobson says. “It might be as simple as helping them fill out paperwork for veterans’ benefits. Sometimes it’s helping them find a local vets group.”

The Iraq War Veterans Organization also tries to help veterans face their war experience. Jacobson says the bravado in the military prevents veterans from recognizing the warning signs of problems like anxiety and PTSD. Jacobson and the other organization leaders, most of whom are Iraq or Afghanistan veterans, try to help veterans confront traumatic memories.

“Coming home, it takes a little bit to unwind, and once you do unwind, that’s when the symptoms start to show up,” Jacobson says. “We try to get out and talk to the vets about it – tell them the warning signs.”