After Hours

A Memo to Men: Drop the Pickup Lines

Dating Disaster #1: I opened with an oldie but a goodie: Are you okay angel? That fall from heaven must have hurt.

Dating Disaster #2: On our first date we went to a fancy French restaurant and I mistakenly ordered $45 snails!

Dating Disaster #3: I called her on Wednesday to see if she wanted to go out on Friday and she blew me off.

What these lovelorn losers don’t understand is that dating can be easy. We went to expert dating coach Khiem Nguyen-Trong for the scoop on all the things you want to know but are too chicken to ask.

What to Spend

As it turns out, money is not a surefire way to impress a woman. You should amaze a woman with your character and personality, not your bank account. Make sure she has a good time getting to know you, not eating fancy food. In order to ensure you have a good time, make sure whatever you do on your date is something you enjoy, whether your girl is there or not. If you can have fun, she’ll have fun.

Dating doesn’t have to be expensive. Click the map to check out these fun and
inexpensive dates around Wisconsin.

Location, Location, Location

Ever hear the phrase ‘It’s not where you are, but who you’re with that really matters?’ This applies to dating as well, especially on the first date. Most men put too much pressure on themselves to make the best first impression possible when they should really be worrying about having fun. Make the date fun and simple.

Dinner and a movie is not a good first date. The best advice a man can get would be to pick two to three places. Start with something small and casual like coffee; get comfortable with her, talk to her, tease her. The rest of the night is up to you. If it’s going well, take her to the next spot. If it’s not going well, you can cut the night short. But if you’re having fun, and you think she is too, keep on truckin’ to spot number three. Only stay at each place for 45 minutes to an hour and a half—this keeps things moving and won’t let the energy wane.

Follow Her Lead

If you really pay attention, women tell you everything you need to know to attract them. Listen to what she says and do something that shows her you were listening. For example, if on your first date she mentions how much she loved cupcakes as a kid, make it a point to surprise her on your next date and take her to a cupcake shop. She’ll notice how thoughtful you are and how much you care about making her smile.

A woman does not expect to be your entire world, so don’t pretend that she is.  She still wants you to be ‘the man’ and have your own life, your own hobbies, your own opinion and the ability to stand up for what you believe in.  Don’t be a pushover and agree with whatever she says.

Learning to read a woman may be the most productive thing you ever do.  I’m not saying you should be able to understand all women—that is impossible. But being able to know when the woman you are sleeping with is ready, enjoying herself and excited to be around you will make dating and sex better for both of you.

"A smile can go a long way—it will help you relax and give you the appearance of a strong, confident man."

"A smile can go a long way—it will help you relax and give you the appearance of a strong, confident man."

Don’t Be a Player, Don’t Hate the Game

Girls do like a good guy, so you don’t have to put up the front of a badass player to get her attention. She doesn’t want to play games, and she definitely doesn’t want to wait until Wednesday for you to call her again. The three-day rule is a myth—call within 48 hours if you had a good time. If you like her, why would you wait to call her?

Pickup lines are not the best option. Don’t be a smooth talker—asking her how she’s feeling after her fall from heaven will not help your chances. Start with a simple “Hi,” and a smile. A smile can go a long way—it will help you relax and give you the appearance of a strong, confident man.

The Payoff

There is no steadfast number of dates to wait before having sex with someone.  Does she smile at you a lot?  Does she call you and try to hang out with you?  Does she sound excited when you ask her to go out?  Does she flirt with you?  Most of the time, you’ll be able to tell when she’s feeling you.

Guys often give up their power in a relationship because they are afraid of losing a woman, but you don’t have to be.  Women want sex as much as men. You’re not out there to get sex from women. You are there to give great sex to them.  Sex shouldn’t be a power struggle, but something that the two of you can enjoy together.

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