One is too many

That choice is a number itself, totaling 44,000 convicted in Wisconsin last year for having made the decision to drive drunk. That figure pales in comparison to the 26.4 percent of Wisconsinites who admitted in the 2008 National Survey on Drug Use and Health that they drove under the influence in the last 12 months — a number that dwarfs the survey’s national average of 15.1.

—

The Kilar crash is just one of 367 drunk driving cases prosecuted in Walworth County this year. At an initial hearing, Dragotta walked in without once taking his eyes off the ground. Shame filled his face and his shoulders hunched into his body under a loose, beige jail jumpsuit. This is the first time the Kilars have seen Dragotta since that night. With each step he took, Mary’s heart raced faster. As he sat down next to his attorney, she raised her hands to cover her face and sobs burst out. At her side, Mike sat, tears steadily streaming down his face. Behind them, rows of friends and family wept audibly.

After a few short minutes, the hearing was over, but the impact lingered. Walking out of the courtroom, everyone was silent. Only after descending two flights of stairs, rounding a corner and coming out of the door did someone finally speak.

“That was so surreal to see him.”

Mary takes a moment to cry to herself after seeing Dragotta in-person for the first time since the night of the crash. Photo by Lukas Keapproth

“Seeing him, the thing that struck me was it looked like somebody I could be standing behind at the grocery store or being at some event with,” Grandma J recalls. “I often struggle with what he must be going through because I know that he didn’t intend to kill a little boy.”

Dragotta, 44, faces six charges, including one count of homicide by intoxicated use of a vehicle and two counts of hit-and-run causing injury. Police believe Dragotta hit another vehicle minutes before crashing into the Kilars. Over the next year, he will be tried and could be sentenced to up to 41 years in prison. The Kilar family wants consequences, but they’re not focused on counting his years behind bars.

“If we have any emotion left after we are drained and beaten, it’s not going to be spent on hatred,” Mary says. “We have to turn that back into loving each other and staying strong in our faith and strong in our family. If there is anything left, give it back to your family, give it back to Treyton up in heaven.”

Believing he is looking down on them, they strive to be the best they can be for him. They have a goal: to spread a message about drunk driving and to honor Treyton’s memory. That goal is being met every day through plans to build “The Treyton Kilar Field of Dreams.”

Treyton lived and breathed baseball. Since he was 4 weeks old, he was rarely found without a ball in his hand. While most children cling to a security blanket or stuffed animal, Treyton found comfort in a plush ball with an elastic band around it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdh2hYPfLRc[/youtube]

Treyton’s love for baseball inspired many, and Mary and Mike hope to carry on his legacy with the field. “Our dream is to build something in his honor where thousands of kids are going to be able to come and really believe in dreaming big and achieving those dreams,” Mary says.

The proposal for “The Treyton Kilar Field of Dreams” is estimated to cost $450,000 and involves a completely fenced-in 225 to 250-foot youth field equipped with concrete block dugouts, bleachers and a scoreboard. If funding allows, the field also will have a restroom, a concession building and lighting. Construction for the field began in October at Starin Park in Whitewater.

“Play for Trey” has come to represent the Kilars’ efforts to raise awareness of the destruction and devastation that comes from driving drunk. Several communities and schools have held sporting events, concerts and fundraisers to spread this message and generate donations for the field. His story even motivated a high school student to create a local chapter of Students Against Destructive Decisions — 89 students attended the first meeting.

—

Mike Kilar holds a photograph of Treyton fishing. The boy was so eager to cast that he hadn't even changed out of his pajamas. Photo by Lukas Keapproth

Drunk driving demands that Wisconsin examine the numbers. With the highest drunk driving rates in the nation, Wisconsin endured 6,429 alcohol-related car crashes last year, more than half of which caused injury.

Treyton never lost his first tooth, and he never made it to his third day of first grade. 
“There are all these nevers that he never had a chance at,” Mary says. “When people make these kinds of destructive decisions, you are not just taking a life. You are taking the future of that life.”

Published December 9, 2010.